Break-up lines( with an twist) for for Valentine's Day

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BROKEN: Nobody likes seeing anyone get hurt, so here are some tongue-in-cheek ag break-up lines to give you a laugh this Valentine's Day.

BROKEN: Nobody likes seeing anyone get hurt, so here are some tongue-in-cheek ag break-up lines to give you a laugh this Valentine's Day.

The course of true love never did run smooth, whether that be in the city or the bush.

Not all relationships make it through- love is messy, complicated and often harsh. With that in mind, here are 30 agriculture-related break-up lines for Valentine's Day today.

Of course, they're not to be used to genuinely rupture happy connections but rather the opposite.

It's hoped that by providing some lightness to what can quite easily become an emotionally heavy day, couples may share a laugh.

After all, if love is the treasure, laughter is the key.

Happy Valentine's Day.

1. Like weir water after big rain; it's over.

2. It's not me - it's ewes. They're lambing and I don't have time for a relationship.

3. Just adjusted the tractor hydraulics so I can let things down gently. Speaking of...

4. I told you at the start of this, I can only commit to the term of an ag minister.

5. Sorry, but I can't see this relationship having a second ratoon.

6. I'm married to the farm, and she's less forgiving than you.

7. (At a campdraft) She had a good run but it had to come to an end eventually. On that note....

8. I'm off to spray some dieldrin without a mask. Why? Well it can't be as toxic as this relationship.

9. When it comes to emotions, you're a ripper - a deep ripper, and I'm afraid my heart's gone zero till.

10. You know I'm a member of Landcare right? I've got to stop erosion before it happens and I just can't get groundcover between you and me.

11. Our aquifer of love seemed endless but it's gone the same way as the Murray, darling.

12. Like an investor examining agriculture, the prospects look good but I just can't commit.

13. I thought you'd cotton on eventually. Look, we had a boll but it's time we seed other people.

14. Sure, your EBVs are impressive but you can't quantify commitment.

15. If I'm honest, it never really got hot enough for the brand to seal.

16. If I can't get a break in the weather, can I at least get a break from you?

17. You've got a good sirey head, you stand well and have a great backline, but you'll only ever be a reserve in my ribbon cabinet.

18. I just can't take another Cyclone You through my banana plantation of life.

19. You're no longer my sweet potato, and I yam what I yam.

20. I feel like our compost pile of love has turned anaerobic.

21. Let me ram it home- it's only shear luck you haven't fleeced me.

22. It could be that the GPS guidance is down but it sure seems this relationship is off-track.

23. It's like you're all canola but I'm calibrated for wheat.

24. Be honest- there are cracks in our glasshouse and our vines of love are wilting.

25. I've been thinking over what's best for you, and you'd better invest in some ROP - Relationship Over Protection.

26. You and I, we're 3G mobile phones west of the Great Divide: We're breaking up.

27. There's a new buyer in the wings so my love is going, going... gone.

28. What I'm trying to say is, look at the BOM's love radar. At the 128km level, it seems all hot and heavy but zoom out to the 512km composite and you'll agree it's a passing system.

29. It's been a long drought of love for me, so I'm looking for steady consistency, not a flood of emotions.

30. Sugar gets dumped onto the market all the time but it stays sweet. Think you can do the same?

Prefer something more romantic?

Ash Walmsley

editor, Good Fruit and Vegetables

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