Despite sweeping the Queensland Cricket awards, Michael Neser admits he is wondering what might have been after the 2019-20 season.
The allrounder had plenty to smile about after receiving his third Ian Healy Trophy as Queensland Bulls Player of the Year on Wednesday.
He also collected the gong for the state's Sheffield Shield Player of the Year as well as Bulls Players' Player after taking 33 first class wickets at 17.
But Neser had plenty of regrets after the Shield season's abrupt end due to coronavirus with one round remaining.
Third placed Queensland were less than two points behind Victoria and looked set to make a charge for a Shield final appearance against runaway ladder leaders NSW before the shutdown.
NSW were later crowned champions.
"It was a horrible way to end the season, it just didn't feel right," said Neser.
"Obviously it was the right decision with coronavirus affecting the place but I still felt we were in for a shot there (at the Shield title).
"If the Bulls made the final you never know what might happen.
"I still feel a hole in my heart thinking 'what if'."
In another blow, the pandemic has forced Neser to abandon plans to play for English county club Surrey.
He was due to feature in the first half of the County Championship but cancelled his contract with the English season suspended until at least until May 28 and Australia's indefinite travel ban on citizens.
"I just thought it was the right thing to do, with what is going on around the world," Neser said.
"Hopefully next season I can potentially go back."
Still, Neser tried to find a positive from the shutdown.
The Bulls strike weapon said self isolation would finally give him a chance to overcome a hamstring niggle that he claimed had troubled him for several seasons.
Neser vowed to reach full fitness in his bid to finally crack the Test XI after spending an extended period as Australia's 12th man.
"I was just trying to stay on the park for a lot of games," he said.
"But with this break I have got a chance to improve physically - I have to find a positive out of the negative."
QUEENSLAND CRICKET AWARD WINNERS
Ian Healy Trophy: Michael Neser
Sheffield Shield Player of the Year: Michael Neser
One Day Cup Player of the Year: Usman Khawaja
Brisbane Heat BBL MVP: Matthew Renshaw
Queensland Bulls Players' Player: Michael Neser
Queensland Fire Player of the Year: Sammy-Jo Johnson
Brisbane Heat WBBL MVP: Jess Jonassen
Queensland Fire Players' Player: Grace Harris
QAS Player of the Year: Bryce Street
Australian Associated Press